Hanging Curtains & Setting Boundaries

This weekend I did something wildly grown-up.

I hung curtains for the very first time!

Not the sheer ones that just look pretty but don't actually do anything. I mean the real-deal, thick, blackout curtains - the kind that block light, noise and the occasional nosy neighbor trying to peep your business through the blinds.

Let me tell you it was a process! There was a ladder. Screws that refused to line up. There was a moment where I had one foot on the windowsill, the other on the bed, and I thought, "This is how people end up on Tik Tok for the wrong reasons." But when I finally got those curtains up...something shifted in me. The peace. The Stillness. The Privacy. I didn't realize how exposed I felt until I curated that barrier between me and the outside world. And then it hit me - this is what setting boundaries feels like.

As Black Women we are taught to be "Accessible". Emotionally available. Generous. Accommodating. And don't let you be the "strong" friend - whew, then it's your job to carry everybody's else's drama AND still bake a pound cake for Sunday Dinner! We tend to end up just like those sheer curtains - beautiful, but see through. Wide open. No filter. Everyone can reach us, call us, expect things from us...and most of us don't even realize how exposed we are. But there comes a point where you realize: Not everyone deserves full access to your light, your energy, or your peace. Your peace should be non negotiable. That's when the "curtain rod of boundaries" comes out.

Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first - especially if you are used to being wide open, emotionally, and energetically. Setting boundaries may cost you some folks. People might even say, "You've changed." And to that I say, "Yes, and I finally got blackout panels. I'm minding my own business and healing so I can't hear you from in here."

Boundaries are the blackout panels of the soul.

They Say:

"No I can't make it - and I don't owe an excuse"

"That conversation doesn't feel safe for me"

"This version of me doesn't do emotional labor for free"

Boundaries are not walls - they are intentional spaces that let the right light in and keep the wrong energy out. They are how we reclaim our rest, our joy and our privacy. And just like my home is now softer quieter and way more peaceful with the right curtains - your spirit will feel the same once you start hanging up some emotional panels of your own. Wherever it is- give yourself permission to close the blinds, pull the curtains, and protect your peace! You are allowed to be the woman who answers "Are you available?" with "Not for everything, and not for everyone."

I invite you to check your windows. Where are you letting too much in? Who's been watching you? And what would it feel like to pull the curtain closed just a little? If this post resonates with you then send a message or drop "Going Shopping" in the comments.