"If One More Person Asks 'Are We There Yet'..."
Let me start with this:
Traveling with a big family is not for the weak!
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Whether road trip or luxurious cruise, It is not a vacation - it's a mobile survival mission. It is an olympic sport, a group project and top rated reality show all in one. I know that seems hard to believe by the time you see the pics posted with matching outfits and captions that read "The Reason I Breathe", but trust me when I tell you, this thing is a serious situation.
As a mom with a crew that could easily be mistaken for a summer camp group, I've learned that family travel requires equal parts patience, prayer, and whole lotta snacks. With children in sports and travel tournaments, I now come prepared like I'm going into battle...with snacks, bright colored matching T-Shirts so no one gets lost, and the voice of Big Mama in my head telling me, "You better not leave that baby's hat or blanket!"
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I promise you haven't known stress until you've tried to get five kids through TSA while balancing a diaper bag, dodging side-eyes from single travelers, and explaining to your "Vet in Training" why we shouldn't bring frogs he found while on vacation on the plane, or to your toddler why they can't take their plastic lightsaber through security (even if it "defends us from bad guys").
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But don't worry Sis, I've got you! I've picked up some hacks along the way that have saved my sanity (and a few edges), that will keep the chaos to a minimum (well, mostly) and the memories flowing. From color-coded packing systems to snack bags that could make the corner store jealous, I'm here to share what I have learned. So if you've got more than two children, a spouse who "forgets" to pack their own socks (or doesn't pack anything), and the ambition to travel with their whole squad - this one is for you.
Travel Tips from a Mama of Many
1. Roll Deep....but Pack Light(ish)
It's natural to assume that packing for a large family would require three suitcases and a camel, but nope- we roll smarter now. Each child gets:
~one carryon size bag
~one backpack
~one mom-approved color -coded packing cube
*Color-coding (especially when children hit the same sizes or with twins helps to avoid the "whose underwear is this?" mystery game in the hotel room.
Trust me, system=sanity.
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2. Snacks are EVERYTHING
Let me tell you, snacks will literally save you. I pack snacks like I'm feeding a small village. We've got fruit snacks, goldfish, granola bars, dried apricots, and emergency lollipops for that occasional "attitude adjustment"
Pro Tip: never give a child sugar a the start of the road trip unless you absolutely enjoy chaos.
Also, keep a mama-only snack pouch - because if I have to share my M&M's one more time....
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3. The Bathroom Drill - I Don't Have to Go
Before we leave the house, I ask" "Who needs to use the bathroom?" of course everyone yells "Not Me" and then ten minutes later, everybody suddenly has to go. So now we do the mandatory "Go anyway" drill. That requires each child to sit on the toilet for at least 60 seconds to think and truly assess if they need to go. I won't begin to tell you how many "I don't have to go" votes change in that time.
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4. Entertainment Strategy: Screens & Games
I am not a huge advocate for screen time in fact my children are only allowed a small amount of supervised time each day. However, on travel days, Tablets, headphones, and downloaded shows can bring so much peace to the car ride. I would recommend mixing it up a bit though and throwing in a few games like "I Spy" which is great for color or letter recognition and learning to spot details.
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5. The "In Case of Tantrum" Kit
Every Black Mama needs a travel version of that "you got one more time to act up" look. But also:
~ Headphones (for you, so you can tune out the meltdown if only for a second to take a moment and breathe)
~Noise Cancelling Headphones in case they are overstimulated
~A weighted blanket (to wrap them like a burrito and calm them)
~Sensory Toys (Fidget Spinners, Pop-Its, etc)
~A non-negotiable "tantrum treat" usually a lollipop or toy they only get if they calm themselves down. And before you ask, "Isn't that bribery?" No Ma'am I like to call it strategic negotiation. Having two children with Autism it can be extremely challenging to travel long distances with them because the slightest thing can insight a whole new dimension of tantrum. Waiting for long periods of time are challenging and too many changes that break routines are even more arduous.
Having the things that suit their particular needs on hand in the moment of meltdown ​​​​has been an extreme life saver for us all while out and about.
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6. Moms Travel Command Center Bag - This includes:
~ID's / Passports
~Birth Certificates (for the one child TSA questions age for
~Wipes, lotion, hand soap / sanitizer
~Chargers for EVERYTHING
~Backup snacks (because snack bags mysteriously "disappear" 2 hours in to the trip.
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Don't strive for perfection, Aim for Memories.
One of the most memorable things that I have learned is that every trip has a moment where you think, "We should have stayed home," If you are like me you've even threatened to turn the car around one or twice. But then there is the moment when you think "This is why we do this." I invite you to allow both to happen simultaneously. Let yourself feel all of the things. It is necessary.
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Let the children be loud, let the cousins argue over who gets the window seat, let your husband forget the toothbrush (again). Laugh. Take the photos, order dessert and just embrace it all.
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Traveling with a big family is not easy but it can be truly UNFORGETTABLE.